People are divided over what good can come out of a Friends With Benefits type of arrangement. Some people say that it shouldn’t affect their friendship whilst others say that it’s a cardinal sin and you shouldn’t do it if you still want to be friends after. Sleeping with your friends has both benefits and drawbacks as your relationship with your friend will certainly change. Whether or not that is a positive or negative thing, depends on the people who are in the relationship.
People think that because your friend is often close to you and knows lots about you, it’s possible to sleep with them and have it like the relationship has not changed a single iota. They put up with your weird mannerisms and listen to you bitch about your friends and co-workers. They know you better than any of the dates you might find, so why the hell wouldn’t you sleep with them?
Different People, Different Wants
Whilst you two know each other really well, there’s no way to tell what it is that they truly want from a relationship. If your best bud is actually a fantastic person that you could see yourself spending the rest of your lives with, it’s probably worth trying to see whether they are interested. If they are, the great!
If they are not, it’s probably not wish to pressure the fact. Some guys and girls will have sex with anyone who wants to but it will change their opinion of you and subsequently, it makes them act differently around you. Even if you did have a great night and so forth with each other you might want different things out of the whole ordeal. Your partner or you might want a long lasting relationship, whilst the other person in the partnership might only want a quick fling. If you are thinking about having some nights of passion with your best buddy, try and communicate what exactly you expect out of it and keep to what you say.
Keeping in mind that you might not want your actual friendship to change, you should have a serious think about whether or not to press for a fling or not.
Sex Creates Tight Bonds
There is research that indicates having sex with people creates emotional attachment even if it was not there in the first place. Bear this in mind when you think a Friends With Benefits type arrangement would be good for you and your best buddy. Creating romantic feelings for one another can lead to a great relationship, one where it feels like you have been dating for years and years. Whilst this sounds all very well and good, the fact remains that you might have completely incompatible relationship needs and wants for the future. It makes no sense to get all loved up and sleeping with your friend when they do not want children or any other serious relationship requirement exists. Avoiding this blunder is easy enough but you never know how the lovemaking will change your brain.
Everyone knows that feeling awkward and acting awkward can totally ruin relationships. By sleeping with your friend, you run the risk of making things awkward between you for an extremely long time. Being awkward with each other round the rest of your friends can cause people to take sides and can split up friend groups in record time. Having sex with your Friend With Benefits is all good, as long as nothing goes wrong. Problem is, something is likely to go horribly wrong and embarrass you. Perhaps the sex you have isn’t very good or isn’t at all how you imagined it would be. Perhaps something goes hilariously wrong or you start to notice areas of your friend’s personality that you didn’t notice before and it puts you off of them as a friend too. As with anything, weigh the risks and rewards in a non-emotional manner to see whether you should do something. Another key point is that when you Friend With Benefits decides they want something more from the relationship, it can be very difficult to go back to how things were. This again, will make things awkward with you and your Friend With Benefits and you could lose out on a great friend this way.
Don’t hook up with your Friends With Benefits when they already have partners. Cheating with someone just because you think you are a better fit for them is akin to committing social suicide. Even if you have lusted over your Friend With Benefits for years, if you know that they are dating someone else, just avoid any advances, if they give any. If it’s you doing the pushing, everyone has vulnerable moment and you wouldn’t want to feel guilty about breaking someone else’s relationship up would you? In addition to your Friend With Benefits going back to their partner after they have finished “having fun” with you, if your friends and family find out, you might end up being victimized for your poor choices after the fact. The crushing sadness that occurs when someone is cheated on shouldn’t be something you want to inflict on anyone and in this situation you have the power to stop it from happening. Even if the stars align and you’ve both had a little to drink, it’s not a good plan. Ever.
Friends With Benefits seem like a fairy great idea, from a purely logical standpoint, it isn’t always so great. You might realize after you have made the mistake of sleeping with them that you actually should have stayed as just friends or that you yourself are not the type of person to enjoy having Friends With Benefits. On the other hand, if the thought has been gnawing away at you that you and your best buddy might actually have something special, if you were to work at it, then by all means go ahead and try it out. One the one hand, you could be left in a fantastic relationship whilst on the other you can find out that actually, you really prefer being in a traditional style relationship, having sex with your date when you deem is right. Whatever you do, think about the consequences of yours actions and how you think your friend might react if it all went horribly wrong. There’s always a chance of this and finding out that your best friend cries after sleeping with you isn’t something that you can easily forget! In all seriousness though, having Friends With Benefits is risky for everyone involved.